Captain Kangaroo "Happy Hands"

Captain Kangaroo
The Horse in Striped Pajamas
6" single
(Golden Records, 1959)

Hey! Hey! Hey!

I'm finally back!

Today, it's time for happy fun time. Or, more accurately, happy hands time. Now, maybe it's just the dirty perv that lives in my brain, but Happy Hands is a rather suggestive song title, in my opinion.

I'm sure it's all completely innocent, but still . . .

Then again, my brother's hands are working fits rhythmically much better than my brother's hands are masturbating. Of course, my brother's hands are sinning would fit, but perhaps the good Captain was wise enough to know that 99% of males beat off, and the other 1% are either lying, in comas, or bereft of hands. Not even sad hands.

:'(

But we must also take into account the fact that the Captain's viewing audience, which once included lil' ol' [young] me, was a bit young to be risking impotence and insanity, via the dread evil that is self-pleasure.

On a personal note, our TV died one morning while I was eating breakfast and watching Captain Kangaroo. It was quite traumatic. I was two or three years old at the time, and still remember the screen unexpectedly going dead black.

For those too young and/or gaijin to know who the heck Captain Kangaroo was, he was Bob Keeshan, the titular host of a long-running morning TV show that I adored. The best parts were when Mr. Moose would dump copious deluges of ping pong balls on the Captain, and when the mysterious Dancing Bear would appear for a few moments to dance for us.

Jim Copp and Ed Brown "The Hen with the Low I.Q."

Jim Copp and Ed Brown Gumdrop Follies LP (Playhouse Records, 1965)

I grew up in northwestern Louisiana, in the 1960s and '70s. Every year, my family would make a four-hour or so trip to Dallas, TX to Neimann Marcus's flagship store's annual Fortnight event. Of course, me being a wee bairn, my favorite place was the amazing toy department. It's been over 30 years since the last time we went, but I still have some of the toys and things purchased on those trips. Sadly, my archaeopteryx, which flew by flapping its rubber band-driven, cellophane wings, is long gone, and my helicopter's rotor blades all eventually broke, as flying high into the sky then crashing to the ground repeatedly was not particularly friendly to plastic. I have some tiny building toys, however, that came in matchboxes (I was obsessed with anything-and-everything miniature), and I have both Jim Copp and Ed Brown records we bought, direct from the men themselves! Both were autographed personally to me, much to my delight! Decades later, internet searches turned up the website for Playhouse Records, and I called the phone number listed. Even as an adult, I was starstruck to be speaking to Jim Copp himself on the phone! Sadly, Mr. Brown had passed away many years before. See, Jim Copp and Ed Brown were the kings of children's records. While most kids records were simple songs and stories, and usually had a moral to convey along with some adult condescension, Jim and Ed's records were hilarious and subversive. The humor was absurdist, adults (both human and anthropomorphous non-human) were portrayed in an often unflattering light, and the stories were rather dark. Today's selection comes from their seventh album, Gumdrop Follies, which is presented as a show, complete with backstage talk and the sounds of the audience. As it's a show, the cover folds out into a stage with proscenium arch. The album also came with several sheets of cardboard characters and scenery, so listeners could perform the record as it played. Below, the Agatha, the mentally challenged hen, and her foollowers act out their tale of stupidity and a brush with death. Yes, I've owned this record for forty plus years, yet I still have all of the scenery, props, and actors! Quite a few of Copp and Brown's albums can now be purchased on CD, but Gumdrop Follies has yet to be reissued in digital format. It is available direct from the label on cassette, however, along with all their other albums, in various formats, and a book of stories by Jim! Here's the order form. You're welcome.

Rockabye Baby! "War Pigs"

Rockabye Baby!
Lullaby Renditions of Black Sabbath
CD
(self-released, 2010)

The spirit of Martin Denny lives! Wait . . . is he dead? Rockabye Baby! has released bunches of CDs of "lullaby renditions" of music by popular bands. I bought this one recently, and it sounds like Martin Denny covering Black Sabbath. The only thing missing, really, is a photograph of a smokin' hot babe on the cover.

The ABC Children's Chorus "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"

The ABC Children's Chorus
Songs for Children . . . by Children
LP
(ABC-Paramount, 1966)

When I was a kid, I had a little record player, and my parents bought children's records for me. This record, though, was a bit of an oddity. Sure, it was mostly kids singing kids' songs, but then there was this song. What a vindictive song sung to a former lover is doing on a kids' record is beyond me. Perhaps, the liner notes will explain?

Take a dozen energetic youngsters ranging in age from nine to fourteen, match them with a dozen bright familiar songs, and out comes one of the most charmingly lighthearted records you've ever heard!

From the opening note to the last, this first recording by the ABC Children's Chorus bursts with the boundless vitality that only the young possess—and the older than young only remember. As up to date as the latest missile launching, this collection includes the theme song from Batman, the TV series that caught the imagination of children of all ages; and It's Superman, a musical tribute to the superhero whose latest triumph is the starring role in the Broadway musical, It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's Superman. Another Broadway hit—The King and I—is represented by I Whistle a Happy Tune, and the movie Mary Poppins introduced Chim Chim Cheree. Included also is the chorus's version of two popular hits—These boots Are Made for Walkin' and an unusual rendition of Tijuana Taxi, which has no lyric.

The ABC Children's Chorus consists of five boys and seven girls, who, despite their early achievements in the entertainment world, sing just like your kids would sound if they joined voices with the kids down the block. Enrolled in public schools, junior highs and high schools around the New York City area, these twelve children's ambitions run to show business (I would like to be another Connie Francis. I want to be just like Helen Hayes and Judy Garland. I'd like to be like Gene Kelly, singing and tap dancing), but one would like to be a physicist in nuclear astronautics.

The members of the ABC Children's Chorus have to their individual performing credits numerous Broadway shows (Music Man, Sail Away, Here's Love, The King and I, and Bye Bye Birdie, among others); television appearances (Bell Telephone Hour, Armstrong Circle Theatre, Jonathan Winters Show, Naked City and The Nurses); you've seen some of them in TV commercials; and at least two of the girls have modeled for magazine illustrations and record album jackets. If this professionalism makes them sound less like your own kids—or those next door—don't be fooled. Kids will be kids, and when they get together and sing, they all sound pretty much the same—young and happy, bubbling with energy—and there you have a perfect description of the ABC Children's Chorus.

This album was produced by Richard Wolfe whose varied show business career has encompassed such activities as radio station program director, director and producer of nationwide amateur talent shows, staff writer for Sammy Kaye, musical director for a music publishing firm, president of his own publishing and production companies and a partnership with entertainer Arthur Godfrey in some of the Redhead's musical enterprises. Dick Wolfe is also a highly successful songwriter.

Hmmmmm . . . guess not.